"Hi Mr. Proprietor," said Mrs. Customer. "I'd like to buy some of your latest and greatest health care!"
"So, sorry," he replied. "But I'm afraid I'm fresh out of health care. My customers cleaned me out of my last health care widgets last month."
"Wow! What happened, did you throw a big sale?"
"Not exactly. I was seeing a ton customers for awhile, it was crazy busy and my hours were ridiculous." He yawned and stretched. "I'm actually exhausted."
"Yes, you do look tired," she said, peering closely at his face. "So why do you think there was a run on your store?"
"Well," he began, scratching his chin, "I suppose it all started right after the government gave people those
Medicinos -- you know, that special money that can only be used to buy health care. I guess they're kind of like food stamps."
"That certainly makes sense. I mean, I have lots of
Medicinos too, a fistful -- and I am ready to spend! When do you think you'll get some more health care in stock?"
"It's not going to happen. You see, the other big reason for the shopping spree is that all the stores had to reduce their prices or we'd get fined by the government. Same thing happened to my suppliers -- all the health care manufacturers were under price controls, supplies were so cheap, it was great for awhile. But there was a run on all their stock, too. I actually tried to offer some of my manufacturers higher prices so I could get stuff for my best customers, but I was told I'd better shut up about that or I'd get arrested for helping my customers 'jump the queue.'"
Mrs. Customer gasped. "That must have been scary!"
"You bet. Actually, this is my last week in the health care business -- I'm opening a computer store in a few weeks."
"You're kidding!" Mrs. Customer exclaimed. "Well, can you refer me to another store nearby that has some good health care in stock?"
"Gee, that's a tough one," said Mr. Proprietor. "Everyone has pretty much sold everything they had and then closed shop. I heard the government tried to offer one of my manufacturers some special subsidies to stay in business but my contact over there said the subsidies came with so many rules -- and such huge penalties for breaking them, even by mistake -- that she just didn't want to deal with it. As a matter of fact, two of my best suppliers told me they're shutting down their health care factories to start manufacturing smart phones and Blu-Ray players."
"Now wait a minute," said Mrs. Customer, frowning. "The whole problem was supposedly that everyone was looking in the health care store windows but couldn't afford to buy anything -- that's why they gave us all these
Medicinos. The experts said there were actually too many health care supplies. So
somebody around here must still be making and selling health care."
Mr. Proprietor paused for a moment to consider, and then said, "You know, I think there's one store still open -- "
"Excellent!" Mrs. Customer interrupted. "Can you give me directions?"
"Hang on a minute! You might not want to go. It's about 100 miles away and the owner over there is out of stock, too. You'd have to sign up for her waiting list to buy some health care when she gets her deliveries in a few months. She got special permission from the government to jump to the head of the line when the health care manufacturers have more supplies -- but only if she sells her new stock to the really sick people first. You don't look so bad, so I think you'd be pretty far down on her list."
"But I need to buy some health care now! I've been feeling under the weather and there's a bad flu virus going around!"
Mr. Proprietor shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you. I'm in the same boat, I'm really worried -- I have two kids and I haven't figured where to buy health care, either. I suggest you take a few days off work and wait it out -- hopefully, you just have a bad cold. My mother always gave me chicken soup -- don't laugh, it really works!"
Mrs. Customer stared. Mr. Proprietor stared back.
"So," Mrs. Customer finally said, "You're saying there's really no health care around here to buy, and that my best option is to get on the waiting list 100 miles away and hope I can buy some health care in a few months?"
"I think that's about right. There's just a serious health care shortage and I don't really see an end in sight."
"But how can there be no health care to buy?" Mrs. Customer wailed. "After all, I have comprehensive health insurance and can pay for anything!"